The One Change That Made a Difference: How I Conquered After-Work Tension Through an Surprising Find in the Loft

One frequently become as tense as a wound-up clock once the workday ends. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Usually, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut would be followed by the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Later, a few months ago, I discovered my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. I idly blew into it, immediately transported back to the days it was the bane of my life – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I brought it downstairs, along with a book – Very Easy Recorder Tunes. As a child, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I’d had recorder lessons at infant school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and printed out a fingering chart. Looking up simple recorder songs, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, yet for a stressed, impatient, musically-challenged adult, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son asked what the hell I was doing (and please could I stop), but I persevered – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. My inability to remember anything forced me to focus on the music sheet, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Today, several months later, I can handle other children’s songs and a decent Ode to Joy. Yes, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but for me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, yet it made me wistful for my school years, as well as my son’s.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work as my first activity, and in those 20 or so minutes, I escape into my own realm. Afterward, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. For daily wellness, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.