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Our friends for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered several hardships, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been constantly blindsided by people. Her spouse walked away, which came as an unexpected event. Many of her social circle drifted away during that time, because they seemed only interested in her husband. It shocked her deeply. She put in more effort in our friendship, and must have understood better the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

In the time since, several of her friends vanished and she isn't knowing the cause. The company she worked for became hostile, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, she departed not understanding why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we have each left the workforce leading to more each other more, but I am finding my position between us is to listen. I open topics of conversation but she shifts them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she expresses unyielding views. I attempt to recommend double-checking information or other angles.

She's been arranging a holiday to a nation I know well on several occasions and lived in for some time. My intention was to share insights, yet it was met with resistance. She really only wanted my agreement with her choices. I recently come back from a month there she is eager to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate in this role that walks away without explanation, however, I feel she can understand the consequences of her actions on my self-esteem. At this point, I am in pulling back. What should I do?

Possible Paths

You could end things abruptly, but it is seldom a smooth outcome we hope for. But confrontation with the goal of working things out requires bravery and readiness from both people.

Therapists recommend trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially requires explaining how things go in your conversations. It should be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. Step two is to express the way it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no disagreement here. Your feelings belong to you, of course. Finally is to question how the two of you can shift the interaction in your relationship."

Keep in mind your friend has her own side, so you need to remain ready to listen to her. An approach that works involves stating to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak while I will not say anything for a set time."

It's wildly effective in fostering better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore your concerns, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative of their life they won't abandon since their identity is tied to it and it represents they trust. This is difficult as there is no thoroughfare here, mere obstacles. However, she might initially present this way and then think on your words. If you don't achieve a resolution, it provides satisfaction from having been truthful.